Topical Jokes

2021-06-09

Gucci will offer digital handbags, sunglasses, and hats on gaming platform Roblox. So just like that gym membership last year, you can once again overpay for something you can’t actually use.

Many of the super rich paid next to no income tax reports ProPublica. You know what they say, it takes money to make money not pay taxes.

2021-06-07

A Turkish mafia boss dishes dirt on his YouTube channel, making it easier to find out how to make cement shoes.

2021-06-06

Dozens of tourists fined after taking 200lbs of sand from Italian beaches. Carrying 200lbs sounds like a lot, but that’s low for a pair of swim trunks.

2021-06-04

North Atlantic whales are getting smaller, getting on average 3 feet shorter than whales 20 years ago. With the onset of global warming, the whales can’t even blame the shrinkage on cold water.

2021-06-03

The New York subway was breached by hackers in April. The subway’s computer security was nothing more than a turnstile.

A herd of wild elephants reached a Chinese city after a 300 mile journey. Apparently, this is the inspiration of the new Homeward Bound movie.

Ally bank ends overdraft fees, a first for large US banks. College students will now be able to afford more pot.

2021-06-02

Amazon won’t test workers for pot. Apparently, it was hard for workers to give a sample when they’re always peeing in bottles.

CA teen shoves a bear off ledge to protect dogs in backyard. If this teen can shove a bear like that, imagine what she can do against the Cleveland Browns

2021-06-01

J&J asks a high court to void the $2B talc verdict. J&J claims that the verdict gives them a rash on their tushies.

China is easing birthing limits further to cope with an aging society. So you can expect a Chinese version of the octomom anytime now.

2021-05-30

In areas where marijuana is being legalized, police dogs who are trained to sniff out pot are being retired. College RAs will have to be put down though.

Egypt bets on ancient finds to pull tourism out of the pandemic. They’ll have to dig deep though.

2021-05-29

The Tokyo Olympics are looking more and more like a fan-free event. Which isn’t much of a change for the sport of race-walking.

The average pay rose to $12.7M for S&P 500 CEOs during the pandemic. Glad to see all those workers didn’t get laid off for nothing.

2021-05-28

Marjorie Taylor Greene says she and Matt Gaetz are “Taking Charge” amid GOP “Civil War”. Greene says she will take on Jewish relations while Gaetz will handle teen outreach.

Navigation errors send NASA’s mars helicopter on a wild ride. Which is the inspiration for a new ride at Disney called “Mr. NASA’s Wild Helicopter Ride”.

Genetically modified salmon head to dinner plates. Which I don’t mind because I don’t eat the head.