Topical Jokes

2021-06-12

A lobster diver survives after nearly being eaten by a humpback whale. Experts say that the whale was out to krill.

The FBI is taking on sexual harassment in the ranks. Agents are finally being told to lose the Female Body Inspector shirts.

2021-06-11

Biden is the 13th president to meet the Queen of England. It seems the Queen finally remembered to redeem her punch card for a free cup of Joe.

2021-06-10

A wedding boom is happening in the US and vendors are trying to keep up. Typical wedding dresses are in high demand, but there seems to be a surplus of dresses made from cicada shells.

Washington state will offer free pot for getting the vaccine. Organizers are having a tough time getting people to leave after their 15 min wait.

2021-06-09

Gucci will offer digital handbags, sunglasses, and hats on gaming platform Roblox. So just like that gym membership last year, you can once again overpay for something you can’t actually use.

Many of the super rich paid next to no income tax reports ProPublica. You know what they say, it takes money to make money not pay taxes.

2021-06-07

A Turkish mafia boss dishes dirt on his YouTube channel, making it easier to find out how to make cement shoes.

2021-06-06

Dozens of tourists fined after taking 200lbs of sand from Italian beaches. Carrying 200lbs sounds like a lot, but that’s low for a pair of swim trunks.

2021-06-04

North Atlantic whales are getting smaller, getting on average 3 feet shorter than whales 20 years ago. With the onset of global warming, the whales can’t even blame the shrinkage on cold water.

2021-06-03

The New York subway was breached by hackers in April. The subway’s computer security was nothing more than a turnstile.

A herd of wild elephants reached a Chinese city after a 300 mile journey. Apparently, this is the inspiration of the new Homeward Bound movie.

Ally bank ends overdraft fees, a first for large US banks. College students will now be able to afford more pot.

2021-06-02

Amazon won’t test workers for pot. Apparently, it was hard for workers to give a sample when they’re always peeing in bottles.

CA teen shoves a bear off ledge to protect dogs in backyard. If this teen can shove a bear like that, imagine what she can do against the Cleveland Browns

2021-06-01

J&J asks a high court to void the $2B talc verdict. J&J claims that the verdict gives them a rash on their tushies.

China is easing birthing limits further to cope with an aging society. So you can expect a Chinese version of the octomom anytime now.