Sturgis bike rally revs back bigger, despite virus variant. Which is good because you used to only be able to be killed by PCP or a stabbing.

Pope resumes public audiences a month after major surgery. The pope is set to headline the next KISS tour.

NASCAR to require masks in enclosed areas going forward. Outdoors however, they will require you to cover your mouth with a Miller Lite.

Impact of space station spin requires study, official says. Officials are waiting to see how many astronauts throw up.

Bill Gates and Melinda French Gates finalize their divorce. It took a little bit longer than normal to get everything formatted correctly in Word.

Massachusetts cop fired over improper use of database to look up women. Apparently he had trouble using Facebook.

Tennessee won’t incentivize COVID shots but pays to vax cows. Leaving 5th grades the first ones to point out that’s the wrong type of herd.

Mistaken identity lands a man in Hawaii into a mental hospital. The good news is that he was already in a mental hospital when he was confronted by this nightmare.

‘Bubble man’ roams San Francisco streets, bringing joy to others. Proving that there is hope for those with overbearing mothers.

A Spanish startup is eyeing the mass market with 3D printed ‘steaks’. The company decided there aren’t enough steak-shaped hamburgers.

MTV is marking its 40th anniversary with a new ‘Moon Person’ design. The new moon person is sporting a hearing aid and a walker.

Square to buy installment payment firm Afterpay in $29B deal. Lucky for Square it’ll just be 29 easy payments.

Belarus runner alleges Olympic team tried to send her home. When asked for proof, she presented a cardboard box with a shipping label on it.

Meghan McCain says she is quitting “The View” in late July. Meghan will return back to her previous job, being John McCain’s daughter.

NCAA clears way for athlete compensation as state laws loom. Now college athletes will finally get the payday they deserve and the education on taxes they need.

A supermarket chain says polish workers found cocaine in banana boxes. Bananas are on sale right now for $.69 a kilo.

Free meat for a year offered in JBS vaccine sweepstakes. If you’re vegetarian, you’re out of chuck

Free meat for a year offered in JBS vaccine sweepstakes. It’s being put on by the Publishers Clearing smokehouse

A CA house decorated like the Flintstones house wins lawsuit and can stay as is. Which is a relief to the owners since it’s so hard to shoo away dinosaurs 

Bruce Springsteen marks the return to Broadway for 1st live show.  He’ll finally be able to pay for electricity and stop dancing in the dark.

The first post pandemic cruise sets sail from the US. Passengers said they were eager to get back to getting sick the old fashioned way.

Taylor Swift’s Dad says he still has guitar picks from her “Red” tour if needed. Proving once again that dads will hold on to anything that could be useful in the future.

Brothers set record crossing large gap in park on highline. Prior to starting their mother had to settle the argument of who went first.

Victoria Secret is ditching the “Angels” campaign.  Tattoo parlors see sharp decline in angel wing tattoos.

Despite Betsy DeVos leaving 5 months ago, her legacy is alive and well. Which makes sense given how hard it is to correct history when schools don’t have money for updated books.